Photo Credit: Jay Douglas (VodPhoto)
Hair: Hair by Demi
Why I Blog:
I spent 6 years in politics. It’s a contact sport, but it is very private. Most people in politics are paranoid. They keep very small close circles and they always think people are coming for them. And honestly…most times they are. The most powerful politicians are “content” for media sources on a daily basis. It kinda comes with the world they live in. I have never really been a private person. I enjoy sharing my ups and downs, struggles and successes. For me, my sharing keeps me connected to what I have been purposed here on earth for. I have received the most amazing letters, emails, social media post from people across the globe saying “thank you for sharing your journey.” That’s why I blog. I blog because I know somewhere someone is learning from a mistake I made or my success pushes their vision for themselves for success.
Ask Stacii Jae:
Hey Lovies….Do you have a question you want to ask me about dating, life, love or career? Do you see the word “Comment” on this page? Yep… That’s it. Click it. Well…that is my lovies where you leave your #AskStaciiJae questions. Yayyyyaaaa! Don’t be shy! Plus you can be anonymous… You do not have to leave your name. Ask me ANYTHING!
TSGC Diaries:
The Single Girls Club Diaries is my diary on life. Whatever, whenever, however. You can catch commentary written by me or other folks on dating, love and relationships, health and beauty, entrepreneurship, fashion and the latest pop culture stories. Everything goes here! TSGC Diaries….is like the BEST mix-tape on the market from the hottest DJ.
How do I know a man loves me?
That is simple. Show and tell. He will show you through his actions and he will use his words to tell you.
I’ve been in a “friends with benefits” type of relationship for a few months. I never thought I would want more out of this but now I do. But the agreement in the beginning was that neither one of us wanted more. Am I playing with fire by continuing to sleep with him?
Ashley
Hey lovie! I have been exactly where you are. I honestly believe that you are emotionally exactly where you always have been with your “friend with benefits” but now that sex has been added, those feelings you have are now escalated to a place that may be uncontrollable for you. You did not just hop in the bed with him and there was nothing about you emotionally attached to him. You have always been fond of him. True? If you are honest with yourself, the answer is yes….true. If you want him to continue being your friend, you can not bring up what you are feeling. It will push him away or make him feel pressure. It may even cause him to not want to continue the friendship. If you want to see what he is feeling without mentioning ho you feel, do not be so available to him. Push back….in a nice way. He want to see you? Tell him you can’t see him. You are busy. Remember, always like a flower. Meaning, your push back is beautiful all around….just like a flower. Be nice. If he wants more, he will say it. Until then, I say go on a date girl with someone else. A date with someone you know will make you feel special. A good date will surely give you the attention you need and possibly take your mind off “friend with benefits”.
Thanking you Stacii Jae for being hear for those of us who are most deserving of a real love like that is spoke of in Anita Bakers songs. However before I can move into that movement I need some guidance. And your just the lady who can help. I’m 54 soon will be 55 in good sexy shape. I have a job and a couple hustles.( LOL) My pass is complicated to say the least. Every dream I have ever had has come true well all but one a man. Some have said that people see me as unapproachable. That’s there hang ups. What I would like to know is how to put the ball in my court to let a man know I’m interested. Rejection is a four headed monster to me. Please help. I HAVE AT LEAST 10 QULITITIES OF A GOOD PERSON
VAUGHN
Long beach Ca
Vaughn…I adore your confidence. And honestly starting there is crucial. So cudos to you. I too agree that if people think I am unapproachable then too bad for them. Congrats on making your dreams a reality. Well, as you said, all except this one man. Hmmmm… honestly I would like to say I am brilliant for coming up with what I am about to tell you. But it’s simple. If you are interested in someone and you want to put the ball in your court, I would say first let go of the “I’m interested’ energy. Approach him like you would any person who you wanted to get to know. Most times the energy that comes with being ‘interested’ in anyone from an attraction puts a LOT of pressure on the situation which makes it hard to just be YOU! So throw out all of that and just approach him from the place of you want to get to know him better, just like any other person.
I have a friend I’ve been knowing for years and I always has feelings for her. We talked all the time and told each other everything. A few years ago I told her how I felt about her and she expressed to me that she did feel the same but wanted to remain friends, basically I got friend zoned, at first I was frustrated that I got put in the friend zone but now it doesn’t bother me as much. The problem is after sharing that with her the friendship changed. At first they were small changes but now the changes are more gradual. We go months without talking, we don’t hang out like we used to, and she isn’t comfortable talking with me about certain stuff anymore, mainly her dating life which I expected that. The low for me is when I recently had another close relative pass away and she didn’t even reach out to me. That wasn’t the first time and I explained to her how that made me feel then and she sincerely apologized but now that it happened again it has really left a bad impression of her on me especially when I had people I don’t even care for reach out to me. I don’t like how she tries to hide things from me. I mean we have the same circle of friends. Her current occupation has her travel between two local cities and at times when she leaves for work instead of constantly driving back and forth her job will pay for her stay in the other city. Not a big deal right, well on a few occasions she will return for a visit and told everyone else except me and she would bring some guy she was dating. She didn’t even tell me she was dating. I found out through a mutual friend she was talking to a guy for apparently a couple years. It offended me because I told her about my relationship and relationship problems. I even joked with her and asked her if she was dating and she told me she wasn’t. I don’t ask much from people but honesty is a must especially when I consider her my best friend. I never understood why she treated me like this until that same mutual friend explained to me that she still holds on to the fact that I told her I liked her and that why she distances her self from me at times but I told her that 5 years ago!? I have always been there for her and listen to her and given my support. I don’t feel she does the same for me anymore. I try to drop hints that something is wrong but she has not tried to contact me. We have been friends for over a decade and she knows everything about me. I’m at the point where I feel like we aren’t on the same page anymore and I don’t know if our once great friendship can be salvaged. It bothers me that she gives me the cold shoulder but still claims to be my best friend. I’m upset with her and I’m considering cutting my ties with her. I take friendships very seriously and she has let me down more now than ever. What should I do? I really need guidance.